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J.O.K.E.S

HELLO FRENS!! A quick LAUGH for u.. E.N.J.O.Y!!

*If you have funny jokes and wanna SHARE with us (ENGLISH / MALAY) kindly email to danie_sid@yahoo.com or just leave a comment k!
 
Smile 14
Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student  : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student  : There is no future in it.

Smile 13
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted        : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted        : You don't know my father!
 
Smile 12
Mother : David, come here.
David    : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David    : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Smile 11
Father      : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son          : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father      : So?
Son          : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
                 If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

Smile 10
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching
TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter  : It's mummy!
Father      : How do you know?
Daughter  : She didn't say anything.

 
Smile 9
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

Smile 8
Man: How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

Smile 7
Waiter     : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Smile 6
Teacher     : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon        : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
 
Smile 5
Father      : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son          : Th
at's why I say she's no good!

Smile 4
Teacher  : 'Where were u born?'
Student   : 'Singapore, Sir.'
Teacher  : 'Which part?'
Student   : 'All of me, Sir.'

Smile 3
A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.
'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

 
Smile 2
Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'
 
Smile 1
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?'
'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'


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